Currently Listening Across the Universe see related

Tomorrow, I will be working to create a presentation on F E M A housing transition.  So I will be working on a Saturday.  I keep feeling that my life is on hold until I get out of this F business.  For the past three years, my life has consisted of work and coworkers and pretty much nothing else.  I am actually quite happy where I am, but part of it is because I feel like I still have much more to do--mainly to continue my life.  How happy would I be if this was it?  Or, how happy will I be when I feel that I have accomplished what I set out to do?  Who knows, maybe this is the best job/fit for me, but I go searching for something else which is more important or something in name.  Like the World Bank.  Does it sound cool to work for the World Bank?  Yes.  Does it effect change?  Yes....?  Would I be affecting more lives by working for a more "prestigious" (only to the policy dorks) organization?  I don't know...I know I would be making less money.  :)  ha ha  Just kidding.  I don't want to work for the World Bank (yet).

Ok, so let's look at the other potentiality.  Of motherhood or marriage.  How happy would I be if I settled down?  Is that it to life?  How short it is!  Once you hit 25, I think you really feel your body start dying (versus growing).  It sucks.  Life is really short.  How to spend it wisely...not to say being a mom or wife is not spending life wisely.  I mean, come on.  It's Mother's Day.  Moms are the best.  And when I see my brother, I see how he is just redeeming our family.  Children are a blessing.  I'm just saying that life is really short.

So, I also feel as if I have gotten stupider (book learning) in the past three years.  I have hardly read any books, watched too much tv, shopped too much.  The only thing I have learned is to be more sensitive to office politics--to be strategic, to read people.  I guess that's helpful in the office but where else?  And I have so much else to learn.  Bleh.

The books I have read (or are reading) have been pretty interesting.  I read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, which I think every (business) person should read.  And I am reading Madam Guyon's autobiography.  I've never heard of her but downloaded this book free from a Christian website.  She really lived the Christian life.  A lot of it was suffering, but she also had a true communion with Christ.  Reading her thoughts makes me ashamed of mine but also encouraged that God was so real in her life.  I mean, she really just gave God everything.  She was pretty--her face got deformed from smallpox--she praised God so that she had no more reason to be vain.  She didn't move without God telling her where to go.  God was so tangible in her life.  I like that she didn't strive to evangelize everyone (although I respect those who have a passion to do so), but it just happened.  Because she was just that close to God.  That's what happens when you're close to God.  Natural and supernatural, I guess.

I haven't found what I am looking for in a church so far in New Orleans.  I have been attending a church in Baton Rouge pretty regularly--the church consists of about 8 people.  It's quite a departure from MorningStar and my big Korean Southern Baptist church.  I've visited churches that reminded me of MS and MBKSBC but haven't been enthralled...I'm still looking, I guess.  I do like my church in Dallas, but I go home only once a month now so it's hard to be committed.

I started joining NOLA organizations; every Wednesday I sell tickets for concessions for concerts at Lafayette square.  It's nice to volunteer.  I permanently have a guest room available for guests in my house.  Come visit.  NOLA's a good place to relax.

For Richer or Poorer?

Recently, I have been surprised at how rich people are.  I took a person out to dinner because she was new to the area, didn't like driving on highways (so she hadn't been out and about town), and works at a dry cleaners.  I (foolishly) showed her my house and the furnishings in it because it's the first time I've ever had matching furniture.

At the end of the night, I dropped her off at her house which was pretty large (twice the size of my home) and had much nicer furnishings.  Turns out that she and her husband own the cleaners she works at.  Nice.

I must have been one of the poorest people I have ever known.  When I hear about how people say they are poor (or were poor) and listen to them talking about the cds they couldn't buy or the car they didn't have, I'm like, "Dude!  I got my cd player from a bible quiz contest!"  Perish the thought of actually buying a cd!

Being poor is nothing to be proud about (or ashamed about)--and when you're a kid, you don't really have a choice whether you "want" to be.  I guess sometimes people (not just kids) are victims of circumstance--things just don't work out in the way they hoped.  Of course, the republican in me thinks, "For those of you out there not choosing to do something productive with your lives: give me back my tax money." 

Anyway, I am absolutely grateful that I have a job, and that I get paid.  It is amazing.  And nothing I deserve. 

Bailey (my cat) just rubbed his bottom on my rug--to clean it, I suppose--his bottom.  I thought only dogs did that!  Nice.

We can talk about cars.  I bought a 1995 Mercedes Benz with 150k miles.  It's kinda smoking, so I now want to buy another car.  I'm thinking of a truck.  It must be that I'm in the south that I would even consider it.

And I am now a cat person.  I adopted two big cats; Bailey likes to throw things off high places with his massive paws.  Like, I had to stop him from dropping my cup (of water) on my floor.  Dangeles!  He is humongous and very strong.  Miss Lucy is still a little scared of me; I think she's the one throwing up the food she doesn't like on my carpet.  Thanks, Lucy.

So, I moved into a house in New Orleans on Thanksgiving last year; I still haven't bought bedroom furniture, but I'm looking forward to doing so.  I expect to be here for another year.

It's amazing how old you get without thinking about it.  So, I guess it makes you wonder whether you're satisfied with where you are.  I feel really lucky to be doing what I am...but there's always that push to be doing more...

So, speaking of my job--I'm still working with F E M A.  I was able to sit in a video teleconference with Admiral Johnson and Chief Paulison last week.  Apparently, they will be showing the graph I created to Secretary Chertoff.  I guess that's cool, right?

I guess.  It's interesting to see how I am becoming an evil person so that I can be more successful professionally.  And it's hard to stop thinking of number one.  Evil, I tell you!  Anyhow, work is keeping me more than busy.  So.

Keep me posted.